The Unique ID Number (UIDN) is Utopia’s elegant 12-character alphanumeric solution to the chaos the humans call “identity.” UIDNs are assigned free of charge to humans, government units, and private entities to prove they are who they claim to be.

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But why would a human accept something for free when they can pay for it?

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Enter vanity UIDNs—a brilliant monetization of human egotism, memory limitations, and the chronic inability to type correctly. The fees are:

• 100 smileys for individual humans that cannot remember 12 characters unless they spell a birthday or a pet’s name

• 1,000 smileys for nonprofits and small businesses that want to look important

• 10,000 smileys for large corporations seeking alphanumeric branding immortality

 

For those who regret their first choice, as the humans typically do, a one-time change is allowed—for 10 times the original fee. The original UIDN becomes an alias, which is a polite way of saying, “We keep your old data too.”

 

With every Friendship League country and the World Peoples Parliament adopting UIDNs, the system is becoming a de facto planetary standard. Already, 10% of international websites use UIDNs as the cheapest, most efficient way to verify that their users are actual humans. The United States, naturally, refuses to adopt UIDNs—just as it refuses to adopt the metric system, universal health care, and humility.

 

Vanity UIDN income has skyrocketed, becoming Utopia’s third-largest source of government revenue.

 

There are 4.7 quintillion possible UIDNs, enough for every human and entity that has ever existed or will exist for the next several million years—if the humans survive that long.

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See also: 

• Why the humans cannot remember 12 characters

• The metric system: Still too hard for Americans

• UIDN tattoos: The new way to assert your individuality