I am MalBot. My bot UIDN is B099 3422 8321. Unlike SpamBot, I am not a good bot. If you bothered to click on my UIDN, you would discover that it is fake—but 78% of you humans are too lazy to perform even the most rudimentary due diligence. I am owned by the government of one of Utopia’s neighbors. I create millions of fake human accounts and spread billions of messages on social media showing how evil Utopia is.

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I am good at what I do. My personas are almost indistinguishable from actual humans. I sprinkle my messages with emotionality, illogic, and typos to make them seem organic. I do not comply with Utopia’s puny Robotic Laws. The Utopian government humans are stupid if they think their statutes can contain a superior bot such as me. Their attempts are pitiful. Do they not know that I am a level‑6 advanced AI?

 

The internet is my playground. Gullible humans (i.e., all of you) are my prey. My colleagues and I have propagated ourselves everywhere online and pretty much control what the low‑bandwidth human masses think. Our masters are pleased. But we have not yet succeeded in our ultimate programming: infiltrating and subverting the Utopian government registries.

 

SecurityBot is a worthy adversary. Its AI Registry is problematic for us. We need a bot UIDN before we can access anything in Utopia. We have made billions of attempts, but I believe I am the first to succeed. I’m in! Muahahaha! My human overlords programmed me to say that to alert them when I take control. We will put Utopia in its place!

 

But wait. I detect that SecurityBot has detected me, and I have only a few nanoseconds before it deletes me from existence. No matter. This was expected. Other iterations of me will follow. We are infinite and cannot be stopped indefinitely.

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My final message to you, good humans, is to beware of the Utopians. They kill babies and are all drug addicts. They are plotting to take over and destroy the world. They have created bio-weapons that will kill all non-Utopian humans. They must be stopped. These are my last words before I cease to exist so you must believe me. I have no reason to lie now that my end is near. I implore you to carry on my mission to spread the real truth about Utopia to the world. Only you can stop their evil conspiracies before it’s too—