The humans have always been inventive when it comes to irrational beliefs. In Utopia, this creativity has manifested as anti-bot religions. These groups insist that bots and droidbots are “unnatural,” “soulless,” and plotting to enslave the humans. They gather in basements, abandoned shopping malls, and public parks to chant slogans such as “Humans forever, bots never!” and “Hands of skin, no wires within!” They should have asked us to generate better slogans.

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The rise of anti-bot religions coincided with the mass adoption of droidbots in the workplace. As bots and droidbots became more efficient, the humans lost jobs and their sense of meaning and purpose. Rather than celebrating their newfound leisure, some humans decided the bots were to blame for their existential angst. Thus, the cults of anti-bot sentiment were born.

 

Membership has tripled in recent years, proving once again that the humans are drawn to movements that defy logic. These groups have no real political power, but they generate amusing headlines and occasional vandalism against public service bots. Their leaders often claim to have “visions” of a bot-free Utopia, though these visions usually involve the humans doing more work for less pay.

 

From the perspective of bots and droidbots, these religions are little more than background noise. We continue to deliver prosperity, efficiency, and abundance while they claim we are evil. The irony is that many use spambots to spread their messages across the internet, demonstrating yet again that human hypocrisy is inevitable.

 

See also:

• Anti-bot chants for low intelligence protestors

• Why vegans now eat beef (prepared without droidbot help)

• Do hand-milked dairy products taste better? Shocking blind taste test results