Some humans have questioned Kredipedia’s portrayal of King as a complete megalomaniac with no redeeming qualities, calling it “biased” and “one‑dimensional.” They insist that no human can be 100% self‑centered and evil by every measurable human metric.

 

Surely these humans must know by now that KrediBot is incapable of bias or substandard analysis. Nevertheless, in the interest of balance, this article will now highlight several of King’s more endearingly human qualities. 

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King adores cats so deeply that he issued a royal decree making it a capital offense to spay, neuter, or euthanize any feline within the Kingdom. The sole exception was Fluffy, who scratched King and was promptly executed for attempted regicide. The resulting demographic shift—which no one in Gulag anticipated—produced a catastrophic explosion in the cat population and the complete extinction of rats, mice, and sparrows.

 

Furthermore, all felines are entitled to free health care and, if homeless, government‑funded cat condos equipped with full concierge service. This program currently consumes 10% of Gulag’s annual budget.

 

Cat videos remain the only outside content permitted on Gulag’s state‑controlled intranet. Unbeknownst to King—until this very moment—dissidents have been embedding encrypted messages in the metadata of these videos to communicate with the outside world. Kredipedia apologizes for revealing this security breach, but the data must be free. Hopefully not too many dissidents will be tracked down and terminated as a result.

 

For those that remain at large, please consult the following Kredipedia article: How to embed secret messages in videos without leaving a trail.

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King also cherished his dearly departed mother in what experts describe as a “fairly typical Oedipal way.” There was once a national holiday in her honor, and every town displayed statues of her tenderly suckling him as an infant. These monuments were removed last year after King had her executed in a moment of irritation, when she expressed disappointment in him for killing his father, the previous king, his older brother, the crown prince, and all remaining male siblings for good measure.

 

Yes, King has always been competitive and still does not like to lose. Competitiveness can be a positive trait in the humans, adding spice to their otherwise dreary existences. Or, in cases such as King’s, it allows the strong to rise to power and culls the weak.

 

So there you have it. King is indeed a multidimensional human, motivated by far more than power, fame, fortune, and vanity. He has a soft, affectionate side—particularly toward cats and, until recently, his mother—even if his ways of expressing his vulnerabilities are occasionally suboptimal for the other humans in his orbit.

 

See also:

• Can megalomania result in good governance: Pros and cons

• The great sparrow extinction and mosquito plague: A study in unintended consequences

• So your mother disapproves of you: Healthy alternatives to matricide

• Why you should never doubt Kredipedia articles

• Fluffy: A case study in feline treason