In a moment of divine intervenshun and historic grandure, King has heroically agreed to annex the beleaguered land of Dystopia and rescue its people from tyranny, chaos, and linguistic persecushun. This sacred liberashun was requested by Mr. Omnipotency, the rightful and beloved Supreme Leader of Dystopia, who sought refuge in Gulag after his homeland was overtaken by a barbarick junta led by the infamous war criminal Spartacus.

​

Spartacus, convicted of 233 counts of genoside by the Dystopian High Tribunal (a number verified personally by King), seized control in a violent coup and unleashed a reign of terror, including mass executshuns, forced labor, and the seizure of all private property, including toothbrushes. Citizens who fail Dystopian language tests are executed or enslaved to build giant monuments to Spartacus. Over 100,000 have been slaughtered in what the world now calls the Spartacus Genoside, though King warns the true number may be “way higher, maybe millions.”

​

From his sanctuary in Gulag, Mr. Omnipotency issued a final decree:

 

“Beloved Dystopians, I am gravely ill and unable to deliver you from this nightmare myself. Therefore, I entrust your future to King, supreme and divine ruler of Gulag. He shall restore peace, dignity, and prosperity to our land. As my last act as Supreme Leader, I command you to resist the Spartacus regime and welcome the Gulag forces as your saviors. Hail to King!”

 

Moved by compassion and guided by celestial destiny, King addressed the world with unmatched eloquense:

 

“I greet you with love, my new loyal subjects. I shall descend with my Forces of Armageddon and cleanse the land of tyranny. The blood of the usurpers shall nourish the soil of rebirth. I hereby rename Dystopia to New Eden, a paradise for the obedient and faithful. Rejoice, Edenites, for your salvation is at hand!”

 

King’s Annexashun Ceremony lasted three glorious hours. Millions wept with joy as the sacred union of Gulag and New Eden was sealed, and King’s face was projected onto the sky by the Royal Weather System for added majesty.

 

Click here to witness the full majesty of King’s speech. (Note: Clicking is mandatory for all loyal subjects.)

 

See also: 

• The Spartacus genoside: How Freedom crushed dissent

• Omnipotency’s final decree: The ultimate words of a tru leader

• Spartacus exposed: Crimes, convictions, and cowardice

• King’s vision for New Eden: Eternal peece through obedience