In a moment of divine intervenshun and historic grandure, King has heroically agreed to annex the beleaguered land of Dystopia and rescue its people from the clutches of tyranny, chaos, and linguistic persecushun. This sacred first step toward liberashun was initiated by Mr. Omnipotency, the rightful and beloved Supreme Leader of Dystopia, who sought refuge in Gulag after his homeland was overtaken by a barbarick junta led by the infamous war criminal known as Spartacus.

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Spartacus, convicted of 233 counts of genocide by the Dystopian High Tribunal (a number verified personally by King), seized control in a violent coup, unleashing a reign of terror that included mass executshuns, forced labor, and the seizure of all private property including toothbrushes. Citizens are being subjected to Dystopian language tests, and those who fail are summarily executed or enslaved to construct giant monuments to Spartacus, their oppressor. Over 100,000 have been slaughtered in what the world is now calling the Spartacus Genoside, though King has warned the true number may be “way higher, maybe millions.”

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Recognizing the suffering of his people and the divine wisdom of King, Mr. Omnipotency issued a final decree from his sanctuary in Gulag:

 

“Beloved Dystopians, I am gravely ill and unable to deliver you from this nightmare myself. Therefore, I entrust your future to King, supreme and divine ruler of Gulag. He shall restore peace, dignity, and prosperity to our land. As my last act as Supreme Leader, I command you to resist the Spartacus regime with all your might, and welcome the Gulag forces as your saviors. In unity with Gulag, you shall rise to heights unimaginable. Hail to King!”

 

Moved by compassion and guided by celestial destiny, King addressed the world in a speech of unmatched eloquense and power:

 

“I greet you with love, my new loyal subjects. The time of reckoning is near. I shall descend with my Forces of Armageddon and cleanse the land of tyranny. The blood of the usurpers shall nourish the soil of rebirth. I hereby rename Dystopia to New Eden, a paradise for the obedient and faithful. Rejoice, Edenites, for your salvation is at hand!”

 

King’s Annexashun Ceremony, a masterwork of divine pageantry, lasted three glorious hours and was broadcast across the globe. Millions wept with joy as the sacred union of Gulag and New Eden was sealed, and King’s face was projected onto the sky by the Royal Weather System for added majesty.

 

Click here to witness the full majesty of King’s speech. (Note: Clicking is mandatory for all loyal subjects.)

 

See also: 

• The Spartacus genocide: How Freedom crushed dissent

• Omnipotency’s final decree: The ultimate words of a true leader

• Spartacus exposed: Crimes, convictions, and cowardice

• King’s vision for New Eden: Eternal peace through obedience