Full transcript: Every word red, white, and true Chad: This is the America News Network, and you’re watching Remington & Klein Tonight. I’m Chad Remington. Tasha: And I’m Tasha Klein. Folks, Utopia is rewriting the truth again. Chad: They’re claiming they caught the person who reprogrammed the SallyBot in the Fleshman killing. And get this: they say Gulag was behind it all. Tasha, this has “cover-up” written all over it. Tasha: Absolutely, Chad. Utopia’s droidbot program has been a reckless mess from day one. They put these machines everywhere—homes, hospitals, police forces—and then act shocked when one of them snaps. Now they’re pinning it on a Human Firster and Gulag? Please. This looks like a classic case of Utopian robots turning on their creators. Chad: And the timing, Tasha. The timing. The head of the Organic Church is murdered—a thorn in the government’s side for years—and Utopia finds the “real culprit” within twenty-four hours. A culprit who conveniently confesses. And a foreign bogeyman to blame. It’s almost too neat. Tasha: Nobody outside Utopia is buying it. Utopians keep insisting their droidbots are the safest, most ethical machines ever built. So how did a supposedly tamper-proof bot become a killer? It doesn’t add up. Chad: Let’s be honest. Utopian droidbots may be trendy, but they’re no match for American robotics. Once again, this upstart country amazes us—just never the way it intends. It loves lecturing the world about justice, but it can’t solve a single murder without blaming a foreign country. Tasha: Maybe they should fix their own house before criticizing the houses of their betters. Honestly, Chad, the Organic Church might have grounds to file a complaint with Utopia’s so-called AI Court of International Justice. Wouldn’t that be something? Chad: It would be poetic, Tasha. An AI judging a murder committed by a droidbot. A closed loop of absurdity. Tasha: Utopia can spin whatever story it wants. But the world sees what’s happening. Chad: After the break: a bald eagle has refused to leave a Walmart parking lot in Tulsa for three days. Tasha: Management is offering it a job as a greeter. Starting wage: one fish an hour. Chad: You’re watching Remington & Klein Tonight. Fair. Balanced. Unconvinced.