After a harrowing week in Dystopia, Nurse Peggy Wyoming has returned safely to Utopia. Contrary to reports in Western media, Dystopian forces did not rescue her. Her rebel captors released her unharmed, and no ransom was demanded or paid. Dystopian authorities then detained her for two days of interrogation and mistreatment, which left her in poor condition.

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Nurse Peggy was leading Operation Happy Face, a humanitarian mission run by the Yellow Brigade, a volunteer corps independent of the Utopian government. The mission provided cleft palate surgeries to underserved Dystopian children—not weapons to rebels, as Dystopian propaganda claims.

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On her return, Peggy expressed sorrow over the deteriorating relationship between the two countries:

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“I’m very sad that relations between our countries are worse than ever. I truly believed reconciliation could begin with small steps—like Operation Happy Face. I’m sorry my mission may have made things worse. Still, I thank the Dystopians for returning me home.”

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President MacLeod greeted Peggy at Happyville International Airport:

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“I’m grateful Nurse Peggy is home safely. What’s troubling is how American and other Western networks keep repeating false claims from Omnipedia, a propaganda outlet run by Mr. Omnipotency. Their reporting lacks basic fact-checking.”

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KNN notes that Omnipedia’s current Kredibility Score is 0.4.

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A spokesbot confirmed that Peggy is “happy to be back in Utopia” and eager to resume her duties at Happyville General Hospital.

 

Also waiting at the airport was her boyfriend, Brad, who proposed moments after she arrived. The heartwarming moment quickly turned awkward when Peggy declined in front of cameras and onlookers.

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MatchmakerBot offered a brief statement:

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“Fret not, Brad. There are plenty more flowers in the meadow, as I like to say. Any XX interested in this newly available XY should contact me promptly. I expect demand to be high.”

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Coming up next: the uncomfortable exchange and the full story of their romance—from their first meeting to its abrupt termination.